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Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The stairs in my house are not shelves
As of half an hour ago, these are the things that were apparently being stored on the stairs:
- Assorted small soft toys.
- Assorted hairbands.
- Two china dolls, complete with parasol and handbag.
- A box containing 'Rainbow Art Markers'.
- A cat mask left over from the Halloween party we had on Friday.
- A pair of black gloves with green glittery claws, left over from same.
- A pair of very stylish high-heeled black boots (mine).
- A pair of black tights, twisted to form a cat's tail.
- A pair of trainers and a t-shirt belonging to Sparkler's best friend.
- Two pairs of new black trousers that don't fit Gloworm properly (entirely due to the stupid way they're made).
- Some sheets of old homework.
- A witch's hat.
- A Halloween goody bag left over from last year's Halloween, which the girls found and got out for this year's Halloween.
- An elasticated rainbow belt that no one ever, under any circumstances, wears.
- A pair of fluffy pink slipper-boots.
- A cat toy in the shape of a furry mouse belonging to Gloworm (yes, I know).
- A plastic flower-shaped box containing Polly Pocket dolls.
- A small plastic hydra.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and threw anything unbreakable up onto the landing, and wondered about the benefits of replacing the stairs with a slide. Hah, try putting your small plastic hydras and hairbands on that.
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| Thursday, October 25, 2007
Sometimes I have imaginary conversations with stupid people
So, Dumbledore is gay, and already the inane responses are rolling in.
The Jaded and World-Weary: (sigh) It's a contrived attempt at more publicity.
Like, duh? Did you think authors craved the lack of publicity? Why wouldn't JK Rowling want people to keep talking about her books?
The Ridiculously Bemused: But, but, but it's not relevant to the books; why has she brought it up now?
Because she was asked a direct question? Because readers like to know details about the characters that are extra to the books? If she's going to give us details about Hermione's career and whether Neville and Luna have a relationship (all deeply irrelevant to the books), why shouldn't she give details about Dumbledore's past?
The Obsessed with Buttsecks: Eww, ewww, I didn't want to know about Dumbledore's bedroom shenanigans. My mind is soiled forevah!
Because JK gave you a list of his favourite positions, did she? I think not. She didn't even say if he'd had sex ever (although for his sake I hope he did some time in his hundreds of years).
The Puritan Parent: Disgusting! Sex has no place in a children's book!
I so agree. Ugh, the nasty sex. Let's erase Roger and Fleur in the bushes at the Yule Ball, then. And Harry and Cho's kiss. And the happy couples on Valentine's Day in the cafe. And all the snogging in The Half-Blood Prince. And Bill and Fleur's wedding. And Lupin and Tonks, specially when it's obvious he's - eww, eww - impregnated her. Maybe we could make it so that only those yucky Muggles have sex (it seems like something the Dursleys would do), and wizards procreate by magic?
Oh, what was that? You're actually okay with the rampant evidence of happily-married sex, and werewolf/human sex, and giant/human sex (can I get another eww for Hagrid's parents? thank you), and voyeurism (Moaning Myrtle in The Goblet of Fire), and unrequited love/lust/obsession (Snape for Lily Potter), as long as it's nothing to do with teh gays? Um, do we know the definition of homophobia?
The Person who has Difficulty with Accurate Definitions: It's not appropriate for Dumbledore to be gay. It will make people question his relationship with Harry.
People like Rita Skeeter? Aside from that, get yourself a dictionary. Homosexuality. Paedophilia. Not the same thing. No, really.
The 'I know reality and I'm sticking to it' Pedant: Dumbledore is a fictional character, therefore he's not gay.
That's right. He's not a wizard, either. And Harry's not an orphan. And Hogwarts doesn't exist. And - why are we even bothering talking about it?
The 'I have my own reality and I'm sticking to that' Delusionist: Dumbledore is a fictional character and the books are finished so JK doesn't get to tell me anything about him and I've decided he's not gay.
Good plan. It might not work so well when it's your brother or your best friend or your child telling you they're gay. But never mind, maybe they won't tell you. That'll be better, won't it?
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| Wednesday, October 17, 2007
My boss is for sale!
And you can buy her!
Well, actually it's just a 30-page critique of your manuscript by Angela James, Executive Editor of Samhain Publishing, but it's to raise money for Hands On New Orleans, a project of Hands On Network, which works to rebuild and revitalize New Orleans through the deliberate involvement of citizens in community-based projects that empower residents to create a more promising future in their own community.
So, you know, a critique from the Evil Editor herself, and you're contributing to charity. How can you lose?
Go to Ebay and buy Angie James!
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So, I know it can be disturbed and evil...
...but now I actually have convincing evidence that Gollum was behind the development of the spellchecker in Microsoft Word.
It just suggested, as a grammatically correct alternative to 'most precious': 'preciouses'. I didn't even know 'preciouses' was a word!
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| Friday, October 12, 2007
Friday happiness
Ooh, ooh. Someone very kindly and unexpectedly gave me an Amazon gift certificate the other day. After I'd finished my editing for today I treated myself to a little virtual shopping trip, so by 19th October I'll have two new books. Happy.
Really, I should have saved it as a reward for finishing my editing and today's quota of writing (I'm behind schedule) but I'm tired and needed shopping therapy.
Aside from 25 pages of editing (fairly easy ones) tomorrow, I'm not working this weekend. This is an excellent thing. The combination of cycling, work, housework, writing and keeping track of Sparkler's nightly homework is making me exhausted at the moment.
So thank goodness: Friday night, a weekend, hardly any work for two days, and new books coming next week.
ETA: The books are Best New Paranormal Romance, from Juno Books (stunning cover), and Techniques of the Selling Writer (Dwight V. Swain), which I've seen highly recommended all over the place. I wanted Debra Dixon's Goal, Motivation, Conflict, but it was nearly £40 over here.
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Adventures in cycling
Twice a week, Gloworm, Th-who-we-take-to-school (to be abbreviated to Thwho) and I cycle to school.
Basically, I really like cycling. As does Gloworm - partly because she hates the smell of the car - and Thwho likes anything where he can pedal as fast as possible then skid to a screeching, gravel-spraying stop.
It has its trials and tribulations, though. Oh my goodness, yes. Sometimes Thwho's chain comes off and either he or I gets oily fingers fixing it back on. Once Gloworm's bike got a flat tyre which we didn't discover until I was picking them up after school, which meant Gloworm and I walked, pushing our bicycles, and Thwho cycled very fast ahead of us, then stopped and sat on the grass waiting for us to catch up.
Thwho consistently forgets to look behind him when he turns right, and I shriek at him from behind, then he looks guilty, I explain road safety to him, and the next day he forgets again. We're mostly on quiet roads (we cycle on the paths when we have to go on the main road) so this isn't as terrifying as it sounds, but I'm gearing up to explain to him again, this time with a threat that if he keeps forgetting he's not going to be allowed to cycle on ahead of Gloworm and me.
Last week a very rude woman hooted at us. We were, admittedly, very much in her way, but no more than another car would have been. We were coming along a road with a lot of parked cars, which meant the three of us had to cycle out around the parked cars, blocking this woman from overtaking. And, being cyclists, we were kind of slow. But we didn't delay her longer than twenty seconds or so, and it's not like she was an ambulance. I had a moment of consuming rage where I considered deliberately riding in front of her and stopping, just as a furious demonstration. But I didn't.
Then this week we got the opposite problem. We were waiting to push our bicycles across a slightly busier road, and a man (whom I'm sure was intending to be helpful) stopped his car in order to let us go in front of him. Except that there was another car coming up behind him, which for all I knew would think he'd parked and would overtake him just as we were crossing. And, really, I've got a nine-year-old and a ten-year-old with me, we move kind of slowly, and I want to cross when I say it's safe, not some man in a car. So I pretended not to notice him, hoping he'd drive on, then he waved at me so I couldn't pretend not to notice him any more, and I shouted, "I'm not crossing now--there's other cars coming!" and then he did drive on. And I, to be honest, felt like an ungrateful cow.
After a few weeks, though, we have worked out a rather good system and the perfect route. We keep on the paths most of the time, slowing right down (with shouted instructions from me) for pedestrians. We've found a short cut that means we can avoid a hill, and that also means we cycle down a dear little cul-de-sac of bungalows, and Gloworm says, "I wish we lived here." We have helmets, and Gloworm has a balaclava to stop her ears aching (and so she can pretend to be a robber), and I'm going to buy some lights now the days are getting shorter.
So, every week: two days of exercise, of saving petrol money, and of not polluting the environment. Selective memory, thorns in the road, hooty impatient women and too-helpful men notwithstanding, it's going well.
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| Thursday, October 04, 2007
Fire and Shadow - coming soon (honestly!)
Fire and Shadow, my romantic fantasy novella which won the Creatures of Darkness Contest at Stardust Press, has been on my 'coming soon' page since February. Sadly, it never did come soon. My editor went missing (really, I heard from him once then never again), my cover art never arrived, my author bio and photo never went up. And then, of course, Stardust Press announced they were shutting down.
The good thing about this is that, due to my editor disappearing, Fire and Shadow was never edited - or released. So I could send it elsewhere as a fresh new book, not a re-release. So I did. I sent it to Drollerie Press, and they want it!
My rights reversion letter came through the other day. Despite my frustration during my time with Stardust Press, in all fairness I must say that they're doing their absolute best for the authors left stranded by their closure. Then yesterday my contracts from Drollerie arrived.
It may be a touch shallow to care so much about cover art - in the world of books the quality of editing is surely more important! - but ever since I sold Fire and Shadow I've been dreaming about the cover art. And now I get Drollerie cover art - cover art that you'd buy even if it weren't wrapped around a book. Big deal. Very happy.
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| Monday, October 01, 2007
'It's all subjective' is not just a platitude
I rejected a manuscript last week. From an author whom I know to be a good writer. And it was the type of rejection I hate writing, because I couldn't really put my finger on why I didn't want to contract the book. The author was entirely gracious about it, by the way, which I was glad of, because as rejections go it wasn't one of my more helpful ones!
Today, though, I read that the author has just contracted this book with another well-respected publisher.
I couldn't be pleaseder. And it just proves what, really, we all know: this business is subjective. One editor, or agent, or reviewer, or reader is only ever one person with one person's opinion. Sometimes they could even be wrong (except me, of course - I'm never wrong). But even if they're not wrong, all they've got is one person's opinion and one person's taste. And if it doesn't match yours, then sometimes all you need to do is find the editor whose taste does.
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